Meredith, Alone by Claire Alexander
It’s been a bit since I shared a review and I have a great one that I highly recommend. If you or someone you know has an anxiety disorder, this book is a must. It will help you feel seen and heard if you have anxiety, and it will help you empathize with a loved one who has anxiety, if you do not.
Review of Meredith, Alone
Meredith, Alone is a 2022 release written by Claire Alexander. Meredith Maggs is the protagonist in the book. We are introduced to her when she is 3 years into being unable to leave her house.
“My name is Meredith Maggs and I haven’t left my home for 1,214 days.”
The story moves between past and present day to enlighten the reader on what ultimately led to Meredith’s isolation as as she struggles to leave her home in the aftermath of a trauma.
Agoraphobia and Panic Attacks
Meredith’s story is so real and relevant in a world that needs more care and compassion surrounding mental health. Meredith develops agoraphobia, a severe form of anxiety that includes panic attacks, dread, and intense anxiety when not in a “safe” place, such as a person’s home. The term uses the Greek word agora, meaning a public place, much like a market or grocery store today. The author truly captures the nuances of coping as a single woman who is unable to leave her house. Meredith works remotely, has groceries delivered, and a friend checks in on her. My main caveat was that Meredith’s lack of financial struggle felt unrealistic for a single woman with a mortgage. Three years also seemed like a long time to not have had any type of emergency or illness, requiring medical attention.
I do respect the author’s ability to truly capture the intensity of a panic attack. The intensity and dread of facing an anxiety-inducing environment for someone who suffers panic is very challenging. As someone who has experienced panic attacks, I related to Meredith and felt empathy for her as she re-entered the world, even though it was hard. It is challenging to convey how debilitating mental health crises can be, especially given the lack of adequate access to healthcare and emotional support.
“I’ve never been so aware of my body—of having a body. I can feel every part of it. My belly clenching, my heart thumping, my skin hot and itchy on my palms.”
Anxiety disorders are debilitating. Claire did a fantastic job capturing the realities and complexities of panic and anxiety. One of the many reasons books are important is that they give readers the chance to learn of the experiences of others who have different experiences, backgrounds, upbringings, and struggles. I am always impressed when an author raises awareness of mental illness.
Trauma
There is an undercurrent of sadness in the book. As the story unfolds, the reader discovers that Meredith’s childhood was traumatic. She was neglected and emotionally abused. Her parents could not provide the safe, loving environment that a child needs to thrive. One of the saddest things Meredith ever says is “I wondered what it was like to feel so safe that you believed nothing bad would happen to you, ever” (Meredith, Alone, p. 180). It’s devastating finding out what happened to Meredith, but she shows resilience and courage in overcoming her trauma, and facing her dysfunctional upbringing.
Mental Healthcare Access
It was interesting to read a book and see the benefits and drawbacks of free universal healthcare, such as the National Health service in the UK. Meredith is able to get therapy sessions for free, but there is a long wait as there are not enough clinicians to meet the needs of the population. The book highlights the difficulties of being unable to afford or access mental healthcare. One of Meredith’s online friends from a public forum shares his feelings in the group chat because he cannot get off the waitlist for public health services and cannot afford therapy in private practice. It is important to advocate for mental healthcare. People need accessible healthcare access.
Finding Community
As much as we need access to mental healthcare, community and social support is also of utmost importance. I loved the friendships that Meredith developed. Finding community in suffering is part of our humanity. We all struggle, in one way or another, and having friends along the way remind us the importance of doing life together, and not in isolation. Meredith meets Tom, who works with a charity that provides companionship to persons who are homebound or limited in mobility. We also see Meredith develop a friendship with Celeste, a friend she meets online who has similar struggles and experiences. She is ultimately the reason Meredith wants to overcome her agoraphobia, so she can attend a celebration in Celeste’s honor.
Being Okay with Being Alone
In an author’s note, Claire writes about the distinction between being alone in a physical sense and feeling alone in an emotional or mental sense.
“The ability to be alone without being lonely is an underrated skill. It requires mental strength, self-reliance, the ability to carve out a place of solitude rather than loneliness.”
I agree with the author that it is hard to learn the skill of being content with yourself. We have to learn to sit with our thoughts and feelings and find healthy outlets for coping with everyday stressors. I’ve realized I need downtime and alone time to recharge, especially as an introvert, but too much alone time and not enough connection with loved ones can be hard too.
Content Warnings
This book has content warnings: domestic abuse, suicide, sexual assault, emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, and the death of a parent.
Rating
If I read a book within 24 hours, I believe it automatically deserves a minimum of 4 stars at least. I was hooked on Meredith’s story and didn’t want to stop reading. The author dealt with a hard topic, and did it beautifully.
4.5/5 stars. I loved this book. Please read it! I loved Meredith.
Currently Reading & Watching
I am currently reading a cute, witchy book, The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna. If you like Sabrina the Teenage Witch, you may enjoy this. It gives me similar vibes so far.
I have my eye on some shows coming out on Netflix. I’m stoked for the 2nd season of Nobody Wants This. I loved Adam Brody, from Gilmore Girls, and Kristen Bell together! It’s October and nearing Halloween, so we are watching Hocus Pocus, which is a must for this time of year.
Up Next
I’ll be reviewing some of my books I’ve loved the past couple years. I took an unplanned break from reading, then subsequent break from reviewing books when I got pregnant with my daughter. I remember wondering if I would ever read again. I don’t read the same amount, but I also read children’s books with my 2-year-old and it is so fun watching her develop a love of reading as well. I’ve started focusing more on reading what I like, when I want or when I can, and how I want, whether it’s a physical book or on my Kindle. I’ve listened to one audiobook this year, which was actually a re-read. I just haven’t enjoyed them the way I used to when I listened to more audiobooks.
Let me know your favorite books and current tv shows! Connect with me on Instagram here for book recommendations!
